Rachel and Tobias forever
by clarinet-alto-4ever
Summary: A collection of songfics featuring my favorite Animorphs couple, Tobias and Rachel. Some are romantic, some are dramatic, and some are just down right funny.
1. Underneath this Smile

Title: **Rachel and Tobias forever**  
Category: Books » Animorphs  
Author: clarinet-alto-4ever  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: General/Romance  
Published: 12-16-05, Updated: 08-15-07  
Chapters: 7, Words: 5,504

**Chapter 1: Underneath this Smile**

Author's Note: I've wanted to write something to do with Tobias and Rachel. I was listening to this song and this popped into my head. Not sure if I like it yet. It might go some major tweaking later on, but I thought I'd get it up tonight. I also can't figure out how to get the around thought-speak. Can anyone help me with that? Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Applegate's Animorphs, or Hilary Duff's "Underneath this Smile."

Edited Note: In an effort to rid my stories of unauthorized song lyrics, just imagine the song that is mentioned in each disclaimer. Furthermore, for new readers, these get a lot better as you go, so if you get frustrated with these first few, skip to the end (each chapter is its own one-shot.) In fact, consider this fic on major hiatus while I go through and overhaul this. (Trust me, it needs it seeing as how most of these were written ages ago.)

I was back in my room after another long battle. Finally, the mask I wore could finally come off. I was alone.

I thought about how my world had changed in the past few months. Sure, sometimes, I didn't mind the fighting and kicking butt; but other times, like now, I was just like any other girl: frightened, disgusted, and in desperate need of someone to hold her.

This was one of the rare times when I wanted to get away from it all. Morph an eagle and fly away. Away from the Yeerks. Away from Visser Three. Away from Kandrona, Taxxons, Hork-Bajir, and Helmacrons.

But how could I do that with the weight of the world resting on my shoulders? And that would mean flying away from the one person who . . . who. . .

I walked to my dresser and reached for a pair of pajamas. I stripped myself of my leotard and put on the cool, loose nightgown.

I wished he was here. He often came by after a particularly terrifying battle. He'd sit on the windowsill on warm nights, or come inside and perch on top of the computer screen on the cooler ones. We'd talk quietly while I caught up on homework and look at web pages. Even when our conversations were shallow and pointless, it was comforting just to know he was there. He could take away all my doubt and fear. He whispered calming words as I fell asleep.

Beyond all that, he was the only one who saw through my facade.

I heard something at the windowsill. That blessed pecking sound had already calmed my beating heart. I rushed over to the window and opened it. Tobias flew in and I closed the window behind him for it was a cold night.

(Hey Rach. . .)

I put the mask on. "Hi Tobias!"

(Don't give me that crap Rachel. I saw your face as you left tonight. C'mon. Talk to me.)

I just couldn't take it. I broke down into tears.

I was Xena Warrior Princess. I was the Almighty Rachel.

And I was crying.

I could handle the physical pain. I could keep my cool in front of Chapman. But not in front of Tobias.

I cried for quite awhile, the tears clouding my vision. Soon I felt two arms wrap around me.

I looked up and saw Tobias' face. I felt his shaggy blonde hair and ran my hand across his smooth cheek. Then I just collapsed into his warm embrace and cried against his chest.

I told him all of my troubles. He listened and smoothed my hair.

I complained about everything. He said he understood and wished he could do more for me.

I cried. He dried my tears.

I licked my chapped lips.

He kissed them.

I fell asleep. And he watched over me.


	2. Learn to be Lonely

A/N: Alright, here's one in Tobias' POV. I thought the fact that she says "Child of the Wilderness" gave it a nice touch.

Disclaimer: I don't own Applegate's Animorphs or Minnie Driver's "Learn to Be Lonely."

A lone hawk flew across the sky full of reds, oranges, and purples. He flew past the city, past the suburbs, and into the neighboring woods.

He thought about his past, about his lonely childhood being thrown from home to home, never feeling wanted or loved. He was a nobody. Especially now that. . .

The sun continued to set as the hawk came to his tree; his home; his sanctuary. He landed in his tree and settled down for the night.

He should have known it would never last; that it would never be anything more than it was. They were in a war, and wars never end perfectly.

He should have known the six of them would never all get out alive.

But why did it have to be her?

It didn't matter now. He'd have to learn to live by himself. Neither human, nor bird.

No one would be there for him any longer.

Marco had his money.

Cassie had her environmental program.

Jake had his hero title.

Ax had his leadership position.

He had somebody.

But no longer.

He curled up by himself in his nest.

He wondered why he continued living. He couldn't hold a decent conversation with another bird. He couldn't have a physical relationship with a human without either giving up his morphing powers, or having to morph every two hours . . . even if he wanted to.

He'd have to be content to be a loner.

He thought that'd he always know loneliness and emptiness, but then she came into his life and showed him love and companionship.

But now she was gone, and would never come back. He'd never feel her warm body in his arms again. He'd never taste her sweet breath, nor feel her warm lips against his.

He laughed as he fell asleep. Laughed, as he thought what the point was in living any longer.

He'd just live alone, all alone. He fell asleep and was haunted by dreams of her.

But they were only dreams. They were never anything more, nor would they ever be.


	3. Fall to Pieces

A/N: All the way from Hilary Duff to Avril Lavigne. Yes, my taste in music is wide-spread.

Disclaimer: I don't own Applegate's _Animorphs_ or Avril Lavigne's "Fall to Pieces"

I tried to turn away from him. The war made things so difficult. His condition made things difficult.

But now we were in the midst of a terrible war, and we needed each other more than ever. I knew we had to cherish every moment we had because, frankly, it could be our last one together.

I saw other girls jumping from one guy to the next. I didn't understand how they could do that now. I had one guy and that's all I needed.

But with the terrors of war upon us, how could I be sure I'd even have that when all was said and done?

I couldn't break down now. My friends needed me too much. They needed strong fearless Rachel. They needed Xena: Warrior Princess. They didn't need me crashing, or else we'd never make it.

But I sure felt like breaking down. I just wanted to run away from it all. Run away from it all with Tobias and live the rest of our lives together. No thinking or talking it out, just running.

He's the only person I could ever cry in front of. Cassie would start crying before I ever would, so I'd have to comfort her. Jake sees me as support and wouldn't be able to handle me crying. Marco would make fun of me and Ax wouldn't understand.

After all we've been through together, I couldn't even begin to imagine a life without you. You've always been there for me.

And I hope and pray you always will.

I want to know everything about you, your hopes, your dreams, your fears, everything. I want to be here for you as well. I want to know what this relationship is.

I want to know if you feel the same way. I want to know if what we have is real. I want to know if it will last through this mess.

I'd probably never actually admit it, but I was. I am in love with you.


	4. Into the West

A/N: When I heard this one, I kinda thought of Rachel singing it to Tobias. Sorry about the long wait, but things were crazy. I think'll they'll slow down a bit after February is gone.

Disclaimer: I don't own Applegate's _Animorphs_ or Annie Lennox's "Into the West."

"Rest, Tobias. It's over. The war, the years of loneliness, they're all over."

I heard that soft voice coming from above. That voice that I had longed to hear for so long finally rang in my ears once again.

I heard the voice of all my friends calling from wherever they were today. I dreamed of all those that gave their lives in the battle including my beloved Rachel. They called for me to join them. . . She called for me to join her. . .

"Tobias, don't cry. You're with me now. Everything will be fine."

I heard her soft angelic voice whispering words of comfort as I passed into the next world. Every worry, every fear, every concern seemed to disappear into nothing. She was closer than she had been since she was last on this earth; and I was calmed.

I saw a bright light shining from above. I heard the soft calling of birds. I tasted the salt of the sea. I felt the waves of the ocean. I smelled the fresh air of a new world.

I was going home.

I thought back on all the good times. Every single moment I'd ever shared with her. They vanished as the promise of new memories entered my mind.

"I won't ever leave you Tobias. I never have. You will see me again, I promise."

I was going to see her again . . . see my dearly loved Rachel. I'd feel her soft touch and sleep soundly with her nearby.

I closed my hawk eyes.

I lifted my human head up and looked upon the most beautiful sight I had ever beheld.

My Rachel's eyes.


	5. As Long As You're Mine

A/N: I've listened to this song a million times, and for some reason I was just listening to it for the millionth and first time and thought, hey! This might make a good Rachel/Tobias song fic. So here it is!

Disclaimer: I do not own Applegate's _Animorphs_, nor the song "As Long as You're Mine" from the Broadway production of _Wicked_.

Rachel

I landed and slowly morphed from a bird back to my human form. I finished, turned around, and saw Tobias already morphed into his own human form, with the wild blonde hair and dreamy eyes I could melt into and be lost forever in. We knew we only had two hours. He came up to me and embraced me lovingly.

We sat down and looked out onto the setting sun over the ocean. Such a perfect night for a short romantic getaway it was. I was never much of a daydreamer. How could I be? I never had time. I was either in school or on a mission. But even those rare occurrences when I was able to let my mind wander were nothing compared to just sitting in his arms.

So many things flew through my head. I must have seemed tense, because Tobias whispered, "Rachel, just relax. There are no Yeerks here now. It's just you and me."

I did let go after that and melted into his arms. I leaned my head up against his chest and savored this moment that would swiftly flee into the past when we had to return to the reality of the war.

I checked my watch. The time was disappearing before my eyes. So, I decided to make the best of it. I leaned up so that his face was level with mine.

Tobias

It had been another long and horrible battle to witness. Rachel and I just had to escape from it all, so as soon as the group broke up, she morphed to eagle, and we flew off into the distance.

I'd never thought I'd have a chance with Rachel back when we were in school together. She was the perfect, beautiful, most popular girl in school. Not that I necessarily liked, her. More of a lust thing I suppose. But then I got to know her. And her charm and confidence threw me over the edge and yet I didn't fall, I flew.

I curled up with her in my arms and appreciated every second I could feel her head against my chest. I can't thank god above enough that my morphing powers were restored.

I couldn't let these two hours be wasted. I was in my human body and I was going to make the best of it. I felt Rachel move and seized the opportunity by leaning my head down towards hers.

Rachel

Tobias pulled away after quite awhile and I once again snuggled close to him. I didn't care what people said about us. True, we were probably as worse off as Romeo and Juliet were, but I didn't care. Love does that too you sometimes I suppose. The really deep kind that just allows every obstacle to be completely shoved to the side and be ignored.

I wished this night would never end, but before I knew it Tobias again whispered in my ear that his two hours were almost up and that I should be getting home. I sighed deeply. My brain knew he was right, but my heart could have argued forever. But I suppose this night would be one to cherish, and I knew that he would always be there for me.

Tobias

I slowly got up and hugged her one last time. She looked up at me with her crystal blue eyes and penetrated every tough bone in my body. I leaned down and kissed her once again. Regretfully, I pulled away and began transforming into my now natural state. She too began to become a bird. But as we flew in our separate directions, I knew that I'd hold her again; be it in this life or the next, she would always be mine.


	6. If I Never Knew You

A/N: It sure has been awhile, but here we go! In the moments following Rachel's death, the Ellimist stopped time and granted her and Tobias a few minutes to say goodbye. Some moments are a bit cliché, but you gotta love them. Also, I couldn't remember if the part about Tobias and the morphing thing would be canon, but it worked and was really sweet. Please forgive me if it's not. As with all my stories, 'XOX' indicates a POV change!

Disclaimer: I don't own KA Applegate's Animorphs or Disney's "If I Never Knew You."

She was dying. No. The love of my life, the light of my days, and my reason for living was dead. She wasn't coming back to me. In the blink of an eye she was gone. My human eyes began to tear up. I hadn't cried in so long. I blinked, willing the tears to go away when I heard a voice from all around me.

"Tobias," it said, "You have five minutes to say goodbye." I recognized this voice! It was the Ellimist.

I close my eyes as I searched for words. Thank you came to mind, but all that really came out was a stuttering "Th . . Th . . ."

"Tobias," another voice said; a softer voice; a sweeter voice; a voice I feared I'd never hear again. I opened my eyes and turned around to see the most beautifully tragic sight in the world.

"Rachel . . ."

"Tobias, I'm so sorry. I had to do it. It was the only way, the only way to save Earth. Don't be mad at Jake for asking me to. I would have done it anyway. Cassie couldn't have done it, or Marco, or anyone else; it had to be me, do you see that? Do you see that?" She kept going until finally I stopped her with a kiss.

She pulled away after a bit; we knew we only had so much time in this state where time had stopped.

"I'm so sorry, Tobias. I should never have fallen in love with you. Things would be so much easier for you now if we hadn't. I feel so guilty. I'm getting the easier way out of this by dying. I'm not the one left behind," she said with tears in her eyes. "It would have been better if this never had happened between us."

I stared at her like she was crazy.

XOX

Even as I said all this to him, I knew I would have never made it through the war without him. Even though our love caused problems at times when we let our emotions get in the way of making decisions for the team, we made it through somehow. As guilty as I felt for leaving him now when we could have been happy, I was selfish too, knowing that I could never trade what we had to be alive if I could not love him.

After I had finished talking, he looked at me like I was crazy. "Rachel, don't even think that for a minute. I love you."

XOX

"But we could have had everything, Tobias. The war is over. We could go back to our families and finish school. You could have trapped yourself as a human and then used the blue box again if you wanted your morphing powers back. We could have had a normal dating life like going to dinner and a long movie. We could have gotten married just like we always talked about in a little white chapel in the spring," she closed her eyes at this and started sobbing some more. Rachel, as Xena-like as she was, was still very much a girl at heart and had always dreamed of a beautiful wedding. She basically had the whole thing planned out. "Why did it have to be this way?" She started crying some more and I pulled her close to me in a warm embrace. "I don't want to die," I heard her whisper softly.

"Rachel, I believe in another life after this one. We will see each other again, I promise. Death and the afterlife are just parts of being a soul existing in this universe. You're just going ahead of me. I'll imagine there will be so many new things to do and see that time will fly be and before you know it, I'll be by your side again." I wiped her tears away and she opened her eyes and looked into mine.

"Dearest, I don't regret a second I spent with you. If I had to do it all over again, knowing that you had to die, I wouldn't change a thing about it. I wouldn't distance myself or anything like that."

She actually smiled for just a moment until a look of realization passed across her face. She looked down at her feet and avoided my eyes for a second before speaking again.

"What is it, Rachel?"

"You have to promise me something, Tobias," she said softly. "Promise me."

"Anything."

She sighed, still avoiding my eyes. I cupped her chin in my hand forcing her to look at me. "What is it, love?"

"Don't do anything stupid," she said seriously.

"Stupid? What do you mean?"

Now she looked straight into my eyes. "Don't go turning yourself into road kill just to get to me. I want you to live out the rest of your life. Don't forget me, but don't dwell on me either, please."

I stared into her eyes. How had she known that I had already considered it? I suppose we really were perfect for each other. She knew how my mind worked and how my heart worked as well. I was the yin to her yang; the peanut butter to her jelly. I looked down not meeting her eyes.

"You promised me, Tobias. Live your life."

I chocked back a sob. "I will, Rachel."

A voice came from all around us. "Your time is almost up."

I took one last look at her beautiful eyes before she closed them and leaned towards me. She kissed me one last time, but before I knew it, the space where she had been only seconds before was empty air and I was back in real time.

Between my choking sobs, I managed a 'thank you' to the Ellimist. I felt Jake's hand on my shoulder as he offered the only comfort he could think of at the time.

I again heard the voice that came from all around me. "You were right, Tobias. You will see her again."

The days turned into months and the months turned into years. And while I didn't expedite the process as per my promise to Rachel, I nevertheless looked forward to the day when I'd see my love again.


	7. Awake

A/N: Set in the time just before the final set of battles. Rachel and Tobias just cuddled through the night (nothing more!).

Disclaimer: I don't own K.A. Applegate's "Animorphs" or Josh Groban's _Awake_. (Though I wouldn't mind owning Josh Groban. lol, j/k)

The alarm on Rachel's watch beeped loudly for the fourth time that night waking me up. I pulled up her arm to look at the time. It was 6:30 in the morning. I had another twenty minutes. We always set her alarm for a good twenty or so minutes before the two hours were up to give us plenty of room to wiggle. It was still probably risky what we were doing, but we didn't really care at this point. What Jake didn't know couldn't hurt him. We knew the end of the war was near and wanted to spend every free waking (or sleeping) moment we could with each other, just in case . . .

The sun's first rays were just peaking out over the horizon in the east. Purples, reds, pinks, and oranges filled the sky in beautiful patterns. I heard birds begin to chirp cheerful "good mornings" to the world. I could smell the morning dew on the grass. It was such a beautiful morning. I checked Rachel's watch again and decided to lie down for just a few more minutes.

"Tobias," Rachel began groggily, "didn't I just hear the alarm go off? Shouldn't you be morphing?"

"Yes, love. It did, but I have a few more minutes," I replied. I wrapped my arm around her middle and nuzzled her neck.

"You can't stay there forever, Tobias," she said still half asleep, "you'll get yourself trapped." She drifted back to sleep.

I wondered if it would really be all that bad to get trapped again.

I quickly shook the idea from my head. I couldn't do that to my friends. Now more than ever we needed every morph capable person available. To trap myself on purpose would be selfish and possibly detrimental.

I looked at Rachel and thought about life after this was over. Then I wondered why I couldn't trap myself after the war. Who would care then? Granted, I was under the assumption that we would win.

I stared at her golden hair and wondered if I never blinked or breathed that time could just stop. Rachel's watch gave another warning beep. I had 10 minutes now. Reluctantly I untangled myself from her and stood up to morph back to hawk.

I concentrated on my red tailed hawk body and felt the changes begin. I felt the ground rise up around me as I shrunk. My arms changed into my wings and my nose sharpened into a beak. My vision grew sharper and I could see Rachel's slightly clogged pores. I laughed at myself when I thought of her reaction should I tell her about them.

Rachel began stirring as I completed the morph. She turned to me and opened her eyes, "Is it worth to morph one more time this morning?"

It would always be worth it to spend time with you, Rachel. Unfortunately, I can see Jake's eyes beginning to open and Marco is mumbling in his sleep, which always means he's almost awake. I'd better just stay like this. I thought reluctantly.

She sighed, but knew it was the truth. Cassie was already awake. "Tobias, I'll be right back, I'm going to go tell Cassie something." She rushed off and whispered in Cassie's ears before returning to me. "Want to go for a morning walk, or fly, in your case, Tobias?"

I'd love to, Rachel.

We made our way through the forest slowly, just talking about pointless stuff. The movie that had just come out, or that one group's newest cd. It was nice to just be teenagers for a minute. She was currently going on about some song NIN sang. I flew down to the ground behind her and let the changes begin.

She hadn't noticed me yet because she was very engrossed in her story. Right as my thought speak ability quit on me she decided to ask what I had thought. I quickly finished the morph and replied in my human voice.

Rachel turned around and smiled, "Oh, Tobias. You didn't have to do that."

I chuckled, "Don't think I don't know exactly what you said to Cassie." Her face held a guilty look. "You told her to distract Jake and Marco from wondering where we went, didn't you?"

She gave a puppy dog pout, "So what if I did? You're not complaining, are you?"

"Never." I said and leaned in for a kiss.

We walked hand in hand back to camp silently No matter what happened in this war we were caught up in, I had her with me right here and right now. Nothing could change that. Nobody could take it away from us. The memory would forever be imprinted on our minds, hearts, and souls. Not death, injury, or even a Yeerk could erase it.

Ever.


End file.
